Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Some Thoughts On Confidence

I often notice someone on the train who intrigues me, not in a romantic way, just in a human way. I see beautiful women with eccentric hair, and people with huge instruments that barely fit in the train car. I love the dancers and the girl who wore the most ridiculously fun outfit with incredibly frizzy hair, whose smile resonates through the mediocre lights. I love those people, the ones who don't care about smooth hair or about matching color palettes for outfits. I find myself falling in love with the women who decided to wear no makeup today. Their wrinkles are deep with memories, the wrinkles of frowns and smiles. I start a secret adoration for the man in a sharp suit with dreadlocks that flow down his back like Niagara Falls. I am intrigued most by the people who genuinely smile; they smile at me, they smile at you, they just smile even when you stare them down with the look you reserve for your local crazy cat lady.

I find the most beautiful people to be the people who dare to walk outside the conventions of nice and neat. I can’t do that. I believe most of us can’t. I dislike my hair naturally curly. It’s frizzy and wild, and leaves me with a mild residue of insecurity. My hair goes into waves and curls that leave you dizzy and confused. My curls counter with the idea of a "lady". A proper lady, to my mother anyway, always looks tamed and pretty with no trace of unruliness. I guess my curls make me look humbly human and not put together. It is my own personal belief we are all acting to some extent. We are acting to seem in place, to seem confident, assured, to impress someone or to fit to what someone else's opinion of correct is (our parents maybe, society, religion).
 The truth is to try and be someone else is a waste of your self. We are all uniquely human, flawed, freckled, passionate and fabulous in our own right. I hope that one of these days you are the person that intrigues me on the train. I hope I bump into your flowing confidence. I want to experience the stares people give you and the smiles you throw back. I hope you’re one of the people who smile. You are vulnerable and innocently human when you smile and I appreciate your honesty. Lets hope I see enough of you beautiful people that it inspires me to try my curly-fro out for a whole month. I hope most of all you yourself see the beauty of an honest confidence in self, in art, and in your own music.

Monday, August 2, 2010

The Critics Of Your Life/Work/Ideas

I used to get the impression that when someone criticized me they were smarter than me. This impression is a side effect from living in this North American mental wasteland. The type of society that loves to point fingers and comment, yet lacks the ability to produce anything of substance that could actually improve our non-material lives (most of the time anyway).

I have bitten my tongue and still at times do, because of that voice of the masses to comment. When I write I feel my guts spilling out, my insides unguarded. I feel, more like believe beyond rationality, that there is someone out there dissecting my insides pointing out how horrible my grammar is, and how impossibly unrealistic my goals are and how my lack of commitment to write at least once a week leads them to shit itty bitty alligators out of pure disgust. 

Most believe the critic is somehow an authority, this is pure crap. The mass epidemic of all time is the inability of people to produce, to act on their hopes, ambitions and dreams. The critic most of the time is that person left aside to see the progress of others, that person is everywhere. I believe we are all critics, but the bitter critics make sure to let the soreness of their lives be felt by all those who make any progress. 

Someone very special told me the other day that there never was a statue enacted of a critic. The truth is that what you create of yourself and otherwise, and how you make others feel will endure past your time here on earth. The critics will always be silenced by what they never achieved. Don't let the mass bitterness of this world stop you from doing what you feel is right for you. I know I am still dealing and fighting the hard battle of being myself in a world that tries its best to make me someone else, its complicated work but you're not alone my friend.

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