Monday, April 12, 2010

March: "No"

March: Discipline

March has been a constant reminder of what I promise myself. My best friend calls me “a people pleaser”. In no way am I an extremist. I am not going around paying peoples phone bills, or running errands for them, etc. I tend to want to make things fun for everyone before myself. I find it my duty to break awkward silences, to try and get someone a drink, to act as host or bring up something fun to do. Not only that but I feel a big problem I have is a responsibility for showing up. I have been known to never say no to an invite. Most of the time I am there rain, sleet, snow, possible tornado I will give it the old college try. I am not saying I don’t have a good time, but I have been stuck too many times in situations I don’t want to be in for the sake of not ruining anyone’s weekend, birthday, bat mitzvah, you name it.

So I have been practicing the art of NO. I have been saying “no” to anything I don’t feel like doing. Like “No, I will not be working here full time”. “No, I wont go to your birthday party, but Happy Birthday.” “No thanks, I will not go with you to stalk that guy you like who lives around my neighborhood. By the way that’s creepy.” “No” is liberating. “No” can be the best decision you ever make. At first saying “no” left a bad aftertaste in my mouth. Like I had taken a bite out of the fruit of limitations. Soon enough I realized I needed to set my limits clearly to live a happier life. Stand your ground, know exactly what you don’t want to do, and don’t do it. Denis Waitley once said,"Everything is something you decide to do,and there is nothing you have to do." Limiting the amount of say outside forces have on your time is key to focusing on activities that bring you joy.

What situation do you find yourself in all the time that dont bring you the joy you deserve? This is a good indication you need some “NO” in your life. Get fed up n just say it “NO!” Scream it out loud if you must.

"Let me listen to me, and not to them"- Gertrude Stein


  1. It's crazy how we go through similiar things around similiar times. I actually was going to post a blog on something similiar to this, but you did good & took the words out of my mouth. Some words of advice I recently learned, "granting ourselves the power to say "no" makes saying "yes" much more powerful." Keep that in mind. luv ya! xoxoxo

  2. Love that quote. I read alot about the art of saying yes and i feel it is important...but sometimes we forget where we should draw the line. Saying "no" more than usual put into perspective how much i say "yes" for the wrong reasons.

  3. It's important (as with everything), that we find a balance in the things we do. We should never just do something to please someone else. I can really never say no to my friends, u less of course I had previous plans. There was this one time that I said yes to plans with 3 different friends in 3 different locations. A very busy Saturday night is what transpired, and I felt sucky leaving the first two friends behind just to spread the love. Although Im sure everyone appreciated that at the end of the day, I made it. But never again did I do something like that. We have to remember that we should keep a balance to hold on to a semblance of sanity! I have more to say but typing on my phone is gay. Lol good shit!

  4. I have been in that situation more times than a normal person should. Not only is it sucky leaving your friends to spread the love,but its soo draining. Are we really enjoying the moment if all we are ever thinking about is how to get to the next place?

  5. lol yes i saw "yes man" and i lived being a "yes" women. Yes is something very important but there must always be a balance. I needed to balance my life with some "no", in order to say yes to what i truly wanted to do.


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